Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My Older Coworkers Say the Darndest Things...

I was near the circ desk when one of my coworkers was explaining the library basics to a newly knighted patron.  She was telling her about the special collections each library has and she said, "Yeah, (so and so branch) even loans out prom dresses.  After you wear them, you take them to the dry cleaners to get cleaned and bring them back."

I stopped what I was doing and had to think about that one, did I miss that meeting or was I just not paying attention as usual??

I really believe that some of my coworkers have worked way too long at the library and need to retire.  After spending more than a decade dealing with the public, I can understand how and why my coworkers say and act the way they do.

When I got back to my cubicle, I sent out a text to everyone library related and they all texted back asking if I was be facetious.  I replied that 1. Why would I joke about that and 2. What kind of crazy person would make that scenario up!?

There is a circ staff meeting tomorrow and I plan to ask what special collections the other branches have in their system in the hopes that she says some more crazy ish.  She's already given up on the customer service aspect, she cusses more at work during the week than I do during a given month.

Heck, I'm sure it's all just a game to her now.  She probably pushes the envelope to see how far she can go before a patron will call her out.  Next thing you know, she will be selling tickets to the weekly rooster fights that happen in the staff break room.

Monday, August 23, 2010

The P.A.T.R.O.N. Award

Library patrons in general, no wait, regular library patrons, no that's not right either...

There are a few patrons who ruin every other patrons' image.  These bad apples are the reason why you become jaded and look questioningly at patrons who say that they returned those "Lost Materials"  they are being charged for, or that they should not have to pay for a damaged book because it was already damaged before they borrowed it.

With that, I introduce the P.A.T.R.O.N Award (Patron A-holes That Ruin Others' Niceness).

The fine specimen for this first award is the patron who walked out with the July issue of "Vogue," tore out 100+ pages, dropped the now unreadable magazine back in the book drop, and left a note that read, " Sorry to whomever reads.  I ripped out the pages : ) "

Just to let you know, the case has been passed on to the Library Detective, Mr. Bookman, and the magazine will be dusted for fingerprints and the handwriting analyzed.  

Once you are found and brought to justice, I have predetermined your punishment: you will have to conduct daily readings and discussions of Harlequin romance novels for the elderly women  that read them and that one elderly guy who says he borrows them for his wife, but every time his wife checks materials out herself, she only borrows mysteries.

Friday, August 20, 2010

That's a First...

Came across a library return covered in motor oil.
It wasn't even a Chilton's book, but a book on intermediate algebra. How algebra and changing your car's oil relate I don't know, but I do know that the patron will make a big stink about the $80+ in fees they have to pay.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

'This Book is Overdue ?'

Okay, so I got suckered into reading this book.  And like other books in the past that I don't like, I made myself suffer through it.

This was recommended by a few of my MLIS professors (shocker right?).  I always enjoyed reading books recommended by my business professors (The World is Flat, Superfreakonomics).  So I figured I might as well see what all this talk is about.

I placed myself on the somewhat long holds list, thinking that, okay, if there are this many holds, it must be a decent read right?

WRONG!  After I checked this awfully disappointing book back in, I took a look at the holds list.  EVERYONE on the list either was either a library employee, retiree, or a volunteer.

The whole thing read like some ALA-produced propaganda, "Libraries are great, Librarians are the best...etc."  I would have been okay with it, but there was a lack of support for these statements.  Not only that, but this was exclusively aimed at the public library, what about the rest of the "Superhero Librarians?"  No love for Academic Librarians, or any of the various Embedded Librarians?  She also has some strange fascination that there are librarians who cuss and have tattoos and who overall do not fit into the stereotype. 

My number one argument about why this book completely sucks is that there is one whole chapter on Second Life.  Seriously, I am sick of hearing about librarians on Second Life like it's the savior of the career.  Okay, so I understand from the few MLIS classes I have taken that librarians, in general, were not the quickest to jump onto the Google ship, which is now a huge regret they have, besides the fact that librarians should have created Google.  And for some reason, some librarians heard about Second Life and jumped on that bandwagon in the hopes that it would be the next biggest thing.  I'm sorry, but I personally only know one person who is one Second Life and she had to join because it was required for one of her MLIS classes.  She quickly deleted her account once the semester was over.

The only people saying that Second Life is the next future front for librarianship are LIBRARIANS.  You cannot justify that it is relevant because the only people Second Life librarians are helping are OTHER librarians on SL.

This book is utterly disappointing, thank goodness I didn't pay for it, LIBRARIES ROCK! : \

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

'My Recipes are for the Birds'

While you're clogging your arteries with fast food junk, the birds outside your window are dining on gourmet food courtesy of your next door neighbor.

What has this world come to???

Monday, August 16, 2010

'Tassels: The Fanciful Embellishment'

Honestly, the only time I can think of when tassels are paid any attention is when they are attached to.... you know, yeah, from what I've heard, not that I would know from personal experience, but a friend told me about it.  Yeah...

Friday, August 13, 2010

TGIF the 13th.

Time to bring out all of the freaks. Can't wait to see what problems will come out of the woodworks today.

I am hoping that the majority of patrons are stupidstitious and won't be visiting the library .

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Creepy Covers (Dude Looks Like a Lady)

There's a whole series with this lady and dude-lady, but I figured one picture pretty much sums up my point pretty succinctly.

Now, where's my Blog-Bonus-Points for making an Aerosmith reference!??!

Creepy Covers (Cat Whispering)

Exhibit 4b. of why we call people, "Crazy Cat Ladies."

Bet you won't see Cesar Millan posing like this.  That's not Pack Leader-ish!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

New Tech Toy.

I am a guy, therefore I am into technology; blame it on the Y - chromosome.
I was going to flip this item online to make up for my meager library income, but this is too cool to let go. That and my XM subscription expired and I don't think it's worth renewing.
This little gadget is a Logitech Squeezebox Radio. It streams my Pandora stations and the MP3's on my PC. I have a couple Logitech Touches coming my way and I might also hold onto one of those as well.
Since it's a WiFi radio, I'm bringing this little guy the next time I work a holiday bookdrop and run it off of the library's network. Nothing like slaving over a pile of books while listening to "99 Problems."

Creepy Covers --- Plant Smut

Yeah, that "garden" in your front yard is actually an orgy.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Older Coworkers, Always There to Make Things Awkward...

It started before our staff meeting. I try to get to the conference room early so I can pick the best seat AKA the one farthest from any manager. My Info BFF came in and sat 6 seats down from me and announced to the few of us in the room that it was best she didn't sit next to me. I told everyone that that was messed up and she said I would get her in trouble by making her laugh. I mean, how else are you supposed to survive boring ass meetings if you don't make inappropriate side comments to the people sitting next to you.

During the last hour on the circ desk, a middle aged woman came up to the desk to register for a new card. It was a typical transaction, she didn't want to damage her fancy nails so she asked if I could attach her keychain card to her key holder. Afterwards she asked where the language section was and I told her to check the 428's. She came back to the desk with some items to check out and I let her know how to renew and all that good stuff. She was a little touchy feely, hands on the arms when she kept saying "thanks," and touching my hand when I handed her books or her card. When she walked out I turned around to see my coworker giving me a look. She was looking at me over her glasses, her look said, "better be careful with that one." I was like you don't have to say anything. This patron is the type who dresses 20 years younger than her age and she happens to be 20 years older than me.

Which reminds me of a time I helped a similar type patron and my coworker working the desk with me came up to me and said, "I don't care if I'm off the desk or on my lunch break, the next time she comes back to the desk, I'd be more than glad to help her." I had no idea how to respond to that considering he's my parents' age and he's married with two kids. I can't talk to him like that or about stuff like that, that's just awwkkwwaarrrdddd.

Can't Blame the Dog

A couple of minutes ago, I was working on a list and was in the nonfiction section when a guy quickly walked into the section and headed for the back.

Within a couple of seconds he unleashes a monster fart and sneaks out. Pretty much a drive-by gassing. Patrons sitting at the nearby tables heard it because when I walked out of the stacks they looked at me, ASSuming it was I.
Not cool, man, not cool... Effing patrons I tell ya.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Bizzaro Patron

It happens every now and then. You encounter a patron who goes against the grain, someone who temporarily restores your faith that patrons, in general, are honest.
Hold on to that memory because it only lasts for a fleeting moment until you deal with a "regular" patron who claims that they returned all their materials on time and says that they will not pay any fees.
A young mother brought in a return she damaged and a new replacement book. She did this all on her own volition. When I looked at the damaged item I couldn't see anything that would warrant a replacement. She said that the bottom of the book got wet when she was at the beach, but all I could see was minor fading on the cover. I told her that it was still in good condition and that the replacement was unnecessary. She was very insistent and even asked if I should consult a manager. Now that was just insulting! She should know that library managers earned their position for being good at doing nothing.