"I Sneezed into a Library Book"...

Well, this year's much hyped snowpacalypse was a letdown.  Only half a foot fell around this way, it was good enough for a Monday paid day off though.  It kind of surprised me when I came in to work on Tuesday to find out that only one circ person came in for the whole day.

With only myself and the branch manager closing, I was shunned to the circ desk.  It really isn't a big deal to me, but I know several librarians who absolutely detest working the circ desk.  In this day and age of "doing more with less" in the library, you just gotta roll up the sleeves on your cardigan and suck it up. 

Checking books in and out reminded me of how disgusting library books can get.  I found myself reaching for the Purell every time I wasn't touching books or money from fines.  I found this gem under the circ desk.

The Public Library Hierarchy...

Circ was short-staffed last week and they had to ask Info for help.  Because I was the most recent one to work on circ, I was chosen to work 3 hours on the circ desk.  It reminded me of when I swore off circ work after joining the info side.  In fact, I did the same thing when I moved from Page to Circ.

It all relates to the hierarchy of the public library.  From my experience, I believe that there is a direct relationship between the amount of work done to one's position in the library pyramid.  The higher you are, the less work you do.

Pages do a lot of work, if they weren't around I'm pretty sure the library would grind to a halt.  The circ desk would be overrun with returns and info wouldn't be able to find anything.

The workload at circ can be pretty overwhelming when you consider that most libraries let patrons borrow 30+ items on each card.  It is no fun when you get a whole family with 5 different cards with 30 items on each card.  But even with that, it is a lot better than pushing a cart around and shelving books from the minute you walk in the library to the minute you leave.

The Info desk is easy compared to circ, I don't have to deal with patrons who complain their way out of the 60 cents in late fees on their account.  Yes, I know the info desk does have to deal with patrons who are too loud, parents who let their feral children run amok, "issues" with the public restroom, and help non-tech patrons with the internet, but I would take info over circ any day.

Branch management is above circ and info regardless of whether its info or circ management, they both do much less than their non-management counterparts.  How can someone who works a full 8 hour shift not work the desk once??  What are they so busy doing in their offices?

Library administration and the library director are so far removed from any of their "coworkers" who work in the branches.  Which makes it quite ironic in that the majority of decisions related to branches are made by admin: procedures, snow closures, even the temperature of the branches, etc.  During one hot summer day at work, I had a patron ask if the A/C was broken.  I replied that Admin has the control over the thermostat and that they raised it because of the budget cuts.  The patron made a quip about how comfy Admin must have it in "their ivory tower," and that is now how I describe library admin's offices.

Will my public library journey end up with me working in the ivory tower, who knows.  It is the equivalent of starting out in the mail room and working your way up to the top floor.

Peace out Circ, Hello Info...

Next week will be my last time working as a library aide/assistant.  I have been beckoned to join the almighty ranks of the Information professionals.  It has been a long time coming.  I have learned everything there is about the circ side, which isn't much really.

I'm excited but also sad because I'll be leaving my current branch and coworkers.  The new branch I will be joining is a much smaller one, a "baby branch" as my coworker called it compared to our current one.  There are only 7 designated staff parking spaces compared to 26 now.

I really need to brush up on reader's advisory.  One of my info friends told me to just pretend like I know whatever the patron is talking about and then Google it. 

Oh, for all of those out there who are potentially thinking about joining the public library ranks here are some current facts for you.  There were 3 info assistant positions open and advertised.  Library HR received OVER 500 applications.  I have not been able to find out exactly how many people were interviewed but my supervisor puts the figure at around 25.  2 of those 3 positions were filled with CURRENT library employees, myself and my coworker-friend.  I am not exactly trying to dissuade anyone out there, I just want you to be fully informed because knowing is half the battle, the other half is making sure you bribe the correct person in library HR, I'm thinking cat toys, knitting supplies, and some secret family baking recipes....

Good Cop, Bad Librarian...

(pic unrelated, just felt like posting my other carving)

A young mother and child came up to the circ desk this weekend with a library card application filled out.  The mom wanted to get a card for her daughter and they just moved to the area so she did not have a proof of local residency, so they wouldn't be able to check anything out.

The mom looks down at her daughter who is clutching a 'Dora the Explorer' picture book with both hands then looks at me, leans towards me and whispers, "Can you tell her she can't take that book home?"

This was the first time I was ever asked to break some little kid's heart like that so I guess my facial expression and lack of reply gave away my surprise at her request.  So after an awkward moment of silence the mom looks down at her daughter and tells her, "You can't take that book home, it's HIS book."  Seeing as how she already put me out there like that, I leaned over the desk and tried to tell her that she could come back tomorrow and pick it up.  The girl instantly teared up and the mom looks at me and says, "She always cries."  I'm thinking, then why the hell didn't you just tell her 'No' to begin with!?!?  Why involve me in your scheme??

As they're walking off with the little girl still crying, the assistant branch manager commented about someone being unhappy and I told her what happened.  She patted me on the shoulder and told me that, "it's okay, we all know you're not that mean."

Rules of Circulation #27a (RoC)

"Improper Use of County Property"

This is an amendment to a previous entry: "Rocks, Papers, Scissors."


If the stars are aligned perfectly and the moon is in the proper lunar phase, and most importantly, the patrons have their politeness degree, I will let them borrow the scissors or use the stapler.


The only stipulation is that the patron has to use said items at the circ desk.  The majority of patrons are cool with that and bring their materials to the desk, others cop an attitude and grumble, "Nevermind," and stomp backto the stacks never to be heard from again.  Seriously though, you CANNOT cut up the 'Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition.'


I had a lady come up to me one morning asking to borrow the scissors.  English wasn't her main language so hand gestures was the main form of communication.  I told her she could use them but had to use them here.  She pointed to the ladies' room, I shook my head disapprovingly and she kept asking for them.  I asked why she needed to take them to the bathroom, I'm thinking maybe she has a valid reason (giving to much credit to patrons, I know I know).  She takes her hands and with one she opens up one of her nostrils and with her other hand she uses her two fingers in a cutting motion towards her nose hairs.... It was at this point I couldn't stifle a laugh and tell her, "Sorry."

Other patrons are more brazen in their endeavors.  I had a lady come up and ask to use some tape, scissors, and stapler; "the Trifecta."  She was very polite and I agreed but told her she had to use them at the circ desk and she complied.  She had an Eastern European accent and she also had a foreign passport and a couple of her pictures.  It seemed like some weak sauce counterfeiting to me, but who am I to judge really?  Maybe she had a bad hair day and wanted to change her picture?

So the lesson of today, no body grooming with the scissors and wipe all of your fingerprints from the stapler if you are running a fake ID hustle from the library.

The Weirdos Come Out at Night...

I rarely work the evening shift, but whenever I do it the branch seems so different.

I step out from the backroom to the circ desk and its like I walked into the Twilight Zone. The patrons are all different too.

This middle aged woman walks up to me at the desk and writes down her last name on a piece of paper and tells me she wants to pay down her fees. I say her last name out loud to make sure I read her chicken scratch correctly and she shoots me a glare. She then proceeds to write down her first name, and I say it out loud as I am bringing her account up. She gives me a nasty look and tells me, "You don't have to say my name, you SHOULDN'T say my name out loud." Good grief woman, if I say your name three times does Beetlejuice pop out of the stacks?? She ends up paying 46 cents towards her fees and walks away.

15 minutes later she comes back up to me and pays a quarter. I asked for her name and this time I didn't speak her name. 5 minutes later she comes back and decides to pay more of her fees, this time a whole freaking penny.

Other than her, I was bored out of my mind so I decided to do some Mythbusting, library style. I kind of feel bad about wasting two stacks of Post-It's but I couldn't find any romance novels in the discard bin to use. Of course the phone book myth worked with the Post-It's, now I need to figure out how to run more Mythbusters experiments at the branch.

Rules of Circ #11 (RoC)

"Circ Desk Small talk"

Most interactions with patrons at the desk last less than a minute, two at the most because it takes a long time to print up a due date slip listing all of the 50 items checked out.

I do not know if this is only for specific patrons who are "loose" when it comes to self-disclosure or if the circ desk is the equivalent of a bar. Patrons can be particularly gabby, and I'm not just talking about the lonely elderly ones either (it's worse when they call because I feel bad when I have to politely tell them I have to go back to work after helping them).

Popular topics of discussion are
1. The weather; from a blizzard to a heat wave, patrons will always mention the obvious. Although, I particularly hate it when patrons mention how great it is outdoors and I'm stuck indoors and I also just started my shift -- don't rub it in!
2. Changes in library policy; it's always fun to bond with patrons by complaining about "The Man," you know, the one guy in his executive suite, smoking his cigars in his expensive suit who is always increasing library fines and shortening hours.
3. Personal issues; most of the time I honestly do not need any more information other than your library card number, and sometimes your name or address. Everything volunteered varies so greatly on many levels. It can range from happy subjects like finally getting a job after using the library to find jobs, to the sad like a widow clearing up a recently passed away spouse's account.

No matter what the topic, I openly welcome anything over the awkward silence of waiting for the printer to finish. I love it when patrons get really excited when they see that I am willing to listen. I had an elderly patron go on and on about a play she was putting on and kept inviting me to go. I recently had a patron tell me all about her trip to Greece which occurred during the economic riots; her husband was pick-pocketed within 20 minutes of setting foot on land and she came in to pay for books they lost when they had to quickly leave their hotel due to the riots.

So bring some books and some stories to the check out desk and I'm always willing to lend the books and an ear.

The Library: We Ruin Your Mother's Day

We were fully staffed yesterday, the first time in months.  Even though half of the staff is new, its better than nothing and its great to blame things on the "new guy" [new GAL(s)].

It being Mother's Day also relieved the patron rush, still had a 1000+ door count though.

Only one "bad" patron interaction out of a hundred or so, not too bad.

A mom and her 10 year old son come up to the Circ desk to check out.  The first card she hands me has a lost item fine of over $20.  The item is from another branch, and they're closed so I can't do a shelf check.  I recommend her to call during the week to have them clear it up.  I ask if she has another library card we can use, that one is blocked too with 3 lost items totaling over $50.  Both lost items were from over a year and a half ago.  I was going to work with her and override the $20 block since I couldn't check the shelves for it, but she instantly started giving me attitude saying that they only have been to the library ONCE and everything has been returned.  Following her logic, yes she has been to the library once to check the items out, and she never made a SECOND trip to return the items.  So I go back and call my supervisor.  She comes out and talks to her and tries to talk to her.  The patron becomes even more irritated while her son is right next to her telling her, "It's okay mom."  Mom replies, "No, it's not, it's ruining our day." 

I got bored listening to her complain so I moved to a different station to assist the other non-disgruntled patrons.  The problem patron and her son walked out without the books only to return 5 minutes later, she was looking for my supervisor who returned to the backroom so she walked up to another coworker and asked her to pass on the message to my supervisor, "Thanks for ruining my Mother's Day!"   Ouch, really?  You're going to take it there?  And I suppose that if this happened a week earlier your message would have been different: "Thanks for ruining my Polish Flag Day!"  To make matters worse, my supervisor just had her first baby last November, so this was HER first Mother's Day.

Patrons Behaving Badly part II

Last Sunday, I ended up working at the County instead of the usual Sunday shift at the City library system.

Let me just say, that the patrons that come in on Sundays are NOT the same ones that come in during the other 6 days of the week.  I only recognized a handful of the 1000+ people that walked through the doors.

My first hour on the desk started with a patron coming up to me and telling me, "Just to let you know, the guy at the internet sign up station is intoxicated.  You might want to keep an eye on him."  Great, yet another drunk in the library.  This guy was surely drunk, and as I looked at the lower right hand corner of the computer screen, I was thinking to myself, "It's 5 o'clock somewhere (in the middle of the ocean.)"  He was wobbling back and forth as he was jabbing at the keys to enter in his account number.  I watched this go on for a good 5 minutes, wondering if someone at the Reference desk would notice the drunkard squinting at the keyboard.  I could only assume that it was turned into a waiting game between Circ and Info to see who would have to deal with him. 

Luckily the guy gave up, and wandered into the stacks.  Before I knew it, he was passed out in a chair in the periodicals.  Since Circ had a better line of sight on the guy in this location, the Info manager told us to watch him and I could read her mind as she told us this and it read, "SUCKERS!"  He slept for an hour or so, and by the time I came back on to the desk he made his way out.  Apparently this guy was found unresponsive at an internet terminal the week before. 

You think that his tolerance level would go up and he would have been able to sign off the internet this time instead of drooling on the keyboard and having the space-bar imprinted on his cheek.  At this rate, he'll be passed out just outside the front doors next week.

I Spy: Library Edition

Yesterday was incredibly busy.  There was a children's program in the morning and it was raining book returns from the sky.  The door count just eked over the 1500 threshold.

But it was a good Saturday because certain managers were not working which can just make your day.

With the masses of people coming through the doors, it was a great opportunity to people watch, if you weren't too busy trying to explain to patrons why they have late fees.  I had one lady get so upset over a .75 (7-5 CENTS, 3 quarters) late fee, that she didn't want to borrow the items she brought to the Circ desk and stormed out of the library.

I spotted this one patron and he really stood out, I asked one of my coworkers, "Hey, did you see that guy in the zebra print button up?"  I mean, how could you miss something like that?  She said she didn't and asked where he went, I pointed her in the direction of the study desks in the corner of the library. 
On her way back to the Circ desk, she stopped by the Info desk to ask another coworker if she saw him as well, to which our Info coworker said, "No but did you see the homeless guy with a tampon stuck up his nose?"

It was at this point that I could only concede that that trumped my find and I lost this round of 'I Spy' but I'll be back (shakes fist towards the Info desk).

Rules of Circ #09 (RoC)

"There is No Such thing as Patron - Circ Desk Confidentiality."

I don't know what it is about the circ desk, but it seems like patrons seem to frequently throw the general sense of self disclosure out the window.  It's quite similar to someone telling their whole life story to a bartender at the bar.

Tonight I was part of one of the most awkward discussions I have had at the circ desk.

A mother came up to me at the circ desk and told me that her two children had been out of the country for the past year and that they needed new cards.  Sure thing, easy transaction.
When I was looking up her children's accounts by searching with her last name, she saw the PC screen and said to her children, "Wow there are a lot of people with our last name, I mean, my ex-husband's last name."  Her son looked up at her and asked, "You and dad got a divorce???"  She quickly changed the subject by having him sign his name on his new card.  I tried not to react at all, but I may have winced when he asked.

I remember when I was working at one branch, I had a patron come up to check out some books.  I scanned her card and told her about some overdue fees she had on her account.  She asked what they were for, I clicked a few buttons and told her they were for Toxic In Laws and Mother In Law Hell.  She smiled and said, "Oh yeah, I remember those, completely worth it!  In fact, after that week, I can write my own book."

Your Books are Due back on Hallmark Day.

Work yesterday was rough, I don't know what brought all the patrons out but they came out in droves.  I didn't have any time to check the Jets/Colts game on my phone at all, but I digress.

When I told the patrons their due date, surprisingly, only one patron out of the near 100 patrons I interacted with actually said, "Oh, Valentine's Day."  I never referred to their due dates as that Hallmark Holiday, but I would just say the 14th of next month.  It was funny to watch the reaction of the couples that I helped.  The females would nudge their husbands/boyfriends in the side and give them a look, while the guys would just roll their eyes.  A couple of the guys would just mouth back, "I know."

The most awkward was a preface to a fight on the car ride home: she asked where he made reservations, he seemed to not care and shrugged it off, she gave him "the look," which continued on their way out to the parking lot.

Gotta love those unique patron interactions.

Rules of Circ #05 (RoC)

"Red or Blue Pill"

When a patron signs up for a new card or needs a replacement, I always ask them, "wallet sized or keychain sized card?"

I try not to speak so quickly, but the patron just stares at me quizzically.  It is at this point that I pull out each card and hold one in each hand and ask the patron again.  I feel like I'm Morpheus asking Neo, whether or not he wants the story to end or stay in Wonderland.

Is it just me, or is this a fairly easy question to answer in under 10 seconds, I could hum the Final Jeopardy theme song and they still couldn't make a choice.  But alas, not all patrons are the same, when it comes to this decision you can pretty much categorize them: Straight Forward, Bank Robber, Shoot First-Ask Questions Later, and the Flip-Flopper.

The Straight Forward patron is the easiest to handle, they will give you their answer right then and there, crisis avoided.

I label the second type the Bank Robber, because much like someone at the teller line, they don't care just as long as you hand it over.  These are the type that are in a hurry to get in, get their card, and jump on the public computers to update their Facebook status or Tweet to the whole world that they got their first library card. 

Shoot First-Ask Questions Later, are also the Pro-Con people.  They'll make their decision, but then feel a twinge of buyer's remorse and then verbally justify their doubts away.  "Oh, I'll just stick with the keychain card, I always have my keys with me anyways."  "I'll stick with the wallet, the keychain one probably falls off easier."  To which I assuage their fears, "The keychain one is always convenient," or "The keychain ones do fall off quite easily."

Lastly, there's the Flip-Flopper, they tend to take longer to make their decision.  You can actually see the gears turning in their head as they squint at the cards as if they are trying to read a fortune ball which will give them the answer to the biggest dilemma they have encountered.  Once they have decided on one, they state their decision with such excitement, only to doubt their decision by the end of me entering their information into the database that they ask if it's too late if they can get the other kind of card.  I smile and tell them it's not, and ask them if that's their final answer (sorry for the second game show reference in one post).

So the real question is: do you want to see how deep the rabbit-hole goes at the Circulation desk?

Patron Complaints

The branch manager forwarded an email complaint that a patron sent through the library website about staff conversations disrupting her experience at the library.  It was sent while I was working at the other branch, so I definitely know she wasn't complaining about me.  I admit several of my coworkers do not possess the "inside voice" but does that mean we are not allowed to talk to each other while working the circ desk?

I have several issues with this particular patron even though I've never met her.  Her email is full of attitude, I'm know she has a right to be upset but she could have been more tactful.  First lesson to learn, is that any emails with sentences in ALL CAPS LOSE ALL RELEVANCE.  This last line really irked me: "Treat the patrons like WE matter and like we DO have something to do with a small portion of your paychecks."  Second lesson to learn, just like librarians ask patrons to keep their voices down, patrons can do the same.  If she had such a problem, why did she not ask to speak to a manager.  Instead she had to email the higher ups which means the issue will be blown out of proportion we will have to take a vow of silence while we are on the circ desk.

Second lesson to learn from all of this, the branch manager should have redacted the patron's email address instead of forwarding it to the whole branch.  The first Google result brings up a website for an escort advertisement page.  She apparently charges $150 for a half hour and $250 for a full hour.  I'm not a tax expert but I don't think my wages are paid with taxes from any prostitutes' paychecks.

Lunch Break Libations

Its my last Saturday at this branch and I have a 12 pack in the trunk.
I found out last night that I play Modern Warfare 2 better when I'm drunk. I wonder if I'm better at the Circ desk tipsy.

Firedrill Fail

I have worked at a total of 7 different branches and have been fortunate enough to NOT be scheduled during any of their routine firedrills.

Well, my luck ran out last week as I experienced my first one and it was pretty uneventful.

It was supposed to be a surprise as to catch everyone off guard and see how prepared they all really are. But that element was thrown out the window when the assistant branch manager had the check list clipboard in her hand and waited for 5 minutes at the circ desk for a lull in people checking out before she pulled the alarm.

It sure scared one patron, he happened to be on his cell phone when it went off and he literally ran out the exit, if there were any children or elderly in front of him, I have no doubt he would have knocked them out of the way during this practice emergency.

While most patrons were leaving reluctantly, one lady decided to check out her materials before the imaginary fire consumed her. Talk about fail, I told her to exit and she gave me the nastiest look. At least it was a nice day outside...

You Belong To The City

You belong to the night... Okay, enough Glenn Frey. 

I now have my old position out at the City library, so now I will have more stories about the library to blog about HUZZAH!

I went in today to fill out all of the paperwork and today was also the first day they switched their program over to an older version of what I work with at the County.  Boy, was there a LOT of problems with that upgrade.  It's like going from Win 95 to Vista.  With me being the only one with "extensive" working knowledge of the program, I was put to work, as one of my newly regained coworkers put it --- "before the ink even dried."

Libraries CAN be Exciting...

During my last hour on the desk today, I noticed a police car with its lights on pull into the parking lot. I figured he probably caught someone speeding. Next thing I see is him pulling up to the front entrance and going up to a lady that was sitting on a bench near the doors. He handcuffs her and another squad car pulls up and they start searching her.

A patron walked in with her young son and made a comment about how libraries used to be a safe place. The lady I was working with on the desk whispered to me to not make any comments. She's also on loan from a different branch as well.

I don't know what's wrong with this particular branch, its not in an unsafe location. This lady also told me about the time she asked this couple if they needed help. The woman said in Spanish that she needed to hide the guy. This caught her by surprise and she didn't have time to respond before the couple ran out of the door. Shortly after a police car pulled up and a cop searched the library for them.

All I have to say is that I really miss my "problem patrons" at my branch.

If You Can't Stand the Heat... Get Out of My Library

I'm a religious follower of the cartoon 'Unshelved' (www.unshelved.com), as I'm sure most library workers are. I remember a few weeks back they were making fun of the point that their library was being advertised as a relief shelter from the summer heat, despite their A/C not working.

Well I can relate, but our A/C actually works. It just isn't set low enough to feel any negligible difference between outside and inside. The county raised the temperature threshold of all the buildings, so it can get very warm inside. A lot of patrons have complained but that hasn't changed anything. This building isn't exactly new so the ventilation is not great. While its tropical humid at the circ desk, its cool 2 feet away in the backroom, and downright frigid in the stacks near sci-fi. Can't wait to see what it'll be like in here during winter. I'm all for an open bonfire in the middle of circ, I know some great romance novels that would burn nice and toasty - Harlequin Series, I'm looking right at you!

Lost in Translation

I had a patron bring up a book to the Circ Desk and handed me their passport. So I used it to search for their account and when I showed them the screen query that their name was not coming up they said in broken English, that they have to be in there. I then asked if they even had a library card and lo and behold they never did. So I gave them application form and when I was done entering their info, they asked how much. I told them that most services are free and told them the few occasions were fines may occur. They asked me how much for the book, I tried my best to explain that it was free to borrow and we went back and forth for a few minutes. I'm not sure if there's a universal hand sign for "due back in 3 weeks," but I don't think the library will be seeing that book again...