The P.A.T.R.O.N. Award

Patron A-hole That Ruin Others' Niceness.

To the patron who sneakily walked out with these issues of Rolling Stone and returned them months later in the book drop, you forgot to pick up your P.A.T.R.O.N. award! 

Needless to say, I did not check the pages for damage or bodily fluids.  I'm assuming you're either a teenage boy or a skeevy old guy.  Whoever you are, you have forced my hand, the next issue of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition will be under armed guard.

Damn You Black Friday!

I HATE Black Friday.  My whole goal this, and every, holiday season is to avoid any shopping mall at all costs until mid-January.

I worked a couple of Black Fridays at Worst Buy and I was a business undergrad, I know how it goes down: a few hot items in stock and A LOT of yelling/fighting between shoppers.  So call me a sucker for spending over $500 last week.  I just got a notice from PayPal that I've moved over 5g's through them alone this past year. I feel like I'm trying to resuscitate this economy on my own.

During a staff meeting, we had a group exercise to get to know all of the new coworkers and I was supposed to say my favorite activity.  The nerd in me was going to say, "playing video games," but my friend/coworker called me out and said, "shopping," to which I could only reply, "Hell yeah!"  It's just that I can't say no to a good deal, especially if there's a chance to make some money. 

My Black Ops deal was the perfect storm for making money AND getting something you want.  It was B2G1 (Buy 2 Get 1 for you newbs), plus there was a discount code, free shipping, and cash back through a referral site.  The two other copies have already sold on Amazon Marketplace, for a profit of course and my only regret is that I didn't get more to sell.

If only my hustling skills could be recognized and used in the library.  They should put me in charge; I would find a way to save the library A TON of money.

Crazy Ish My Older Workers Say Part 2...

Two of my coworkers were working on the daily delivery together and were talking about the usual random stuff: what they're sewing/knitting, what new recipe they tried out, how their cats are doing, etc...  When the topic turned towards the TSA and the new pat-downs/feel-ups, whatever you want to call them.

I was surprised when one of them mentioned that she saw "that Jon Stewart guy" making fun of the whole situation and that he referred to that particular body region as "junk."

Coworker 1:  "Junk?  Is that right?"
Coworker 2: "Uhm, I don't know, why would you call it that?"
Coworker 1: "I don't know.  But I'm pretty sure they called it 'their junk,' I mean we wouldn't know because we don't have that."

I was in my cubicle next door laughing at the whole conversation.  Thank goodness they didn't know I was there pretending to do work, because I know that they would have yelled over to me to clarify that they used the term "junk" properly.

Ah yes, "Don't touch my junk" is now added to my repertoire of pop culture phrases such as "Don't tase me bro" and "Punk ass book jockeys."

This is What You Do in "Library School"...

My coworker and I were extremely bored in tonight's lecture (shocker). Luckily we came across this guy. She named him Jacques, I couldn't think of anything better than "Stinky," so her name won. He kept us awake and amused for the rest of the night. Less than a month til this semester is over, woooooooot!

Top Gear Review: Stuck in Neutral...

I am grateful for all things British: fish and chips, The Office, and Aston Martins to name a few.

But the American-ized 'Top Gear' is pure rubbish. I am not even halfway through watching the premier episode and I am utterly ashamed. I love the o'g BBC Top Gear and this one is a disgrace.

The scenes and editing are just not as slick as the BBC version. Bring on the fish eye lenses.

The hosts have no personality. The show could use some attitude a la Anthony Bourdain, some balls like Andrew Zimmerman, and some humor like Mike Rowe (sorry for the Travel Channel references but its the best I could do).

And for a character that doesn't say anything, I feel like they've ruined The Stig. Don't ask me how, but the U.S. Stig sucks.

For being the country that brought automobiles to the masses, this show is the Model-T version compared to the BBC's DB9.

P.S.
To the wardrobe department, enough with the plaid, good grief, the rest of the world will think Americans dress like the Brawny guy.

Public Libraries = Bathroom for Homeless People.

 My mind is a receptacle for useless movie and television quotes.
And thanks to 'Modern Family' I have another one to add to my library folder.

Claire:  What do you think the public library is for?
Haley:  I thought that was a bathroom for homeless people.


I wish 'Parks and Recreation' would come back on, they were always good for a library bashing.  Instead we have that stupid 'Outsourced' show.  No lie, I really did enjoy the movie, but the television show is just horrible.


I also like the Australian television series, 'The Librarians,' but I wouldn't want to see it become a mainstream show in the States for various reasons.  Most librarians I know do not have a, let's say open sense of humor and they take offense to anything that makes fun of the profession.  Have some humility people!  More importantly, anything that goes mainstream tends to "sell out" so to speak, and faces backlash.  Let's keep this library bashing on the down-low. 

Oh, unless your IP address is in Australia you can't stream the videos.  But you people are librarians with librarian research skills, let's just say that there are ways to watch the series.

Can't Knock the Hustle Part II.

While I was "doing MLIS work" aka eBay hustling, I came across this auction for a "professional" librarian offering her, *sorry*, their special librarian research skillset for one special child in America for the low price of $29.99.  If you don't want to be sniped(that would be having someone outbid you at the last second), you can BIN for $40(that's "Buy It Now" for all you non-eBayers) .

Like the saying goes, "Can't Knock the Hustle," but this just reeks of desperation and failness.  Seriously though, a lot of libraries offer this service for free, online and in-branch, so what dumb-dumb would fork over the dough for this?

Who pays for researching (wikipedia-ing) their elementary paper on the history of Thanksgiving?  Maybe, *maybe*, this service would be "worth it" if you just did the schoolwork for the kid in MLA format of course.

If anyone seriously bids on this, then I have an MLIS in progress I'd like to sell you at an unbelievable low price.  Sure, you won't get the expensive piece of paper until a year from now, but think of it as a CD reaching its maturity date.

This Week's Winner Is...

Patron # .....3265. Congratulations, you have luckily decided to check AND lose one of the most expensive books in the system!

Sucker Punch Me!

More Sucker Punch Videos

The latest trailer for "Sucker Punch," still have a couple of months to wait with bated breath.
But damn, I haven't been this excited for a movie in awhile now!
This movie seems completely bad ass.  I just hope the hype doesn't let me down.

Semester of Suck...

I really should be working on my midterm projects that are due next week but I can't bring myself to it.

Isn't the semester over yet??  One class is utterly boring but has an enthusiastic professor, while my other class is an important required class taught by someone who puts more effort into making jokes than lesson plans.  I've registered for Spring semester: Cataloging and User Interfaces.  Should be a better semester, I hope.

I've done everything else but schoolwork.  I've been browsing pictures of posters from last Saturday's Rally to Restore Sanity and or Fear.  When I came across this one:

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Good Cop, Bad Librarian...

(pic unrelated, just felt like posting my other carving)

A young mother and child came up to the circ desk this weekend with a library card application filled out.  The mom wanted to get a card for her daughter and they just moved to the area so she did not have a proof of local residency, so they wouldn't be able to check anything out.

The mom looks down at her daughter who is clutching a 'Dora the Explorer' picture book with both hands then looks at me, leans towards me and whispers, "Can you tell her she can't take that book home?"

This was the first time I was ever asked to break some little kid's heart like that so I guess my facial expression and lack of reply gave away my surprise at her request.  So after an awkward moment of silence the mom looks down at her daughter and tells her, "You can't take that book home, it's HIS book."  Seeing as how she already put me out there like that, I leaned over the desk and tried to tell her that she could come back tomorrow and pick it up.  The girl instantly teared up and the mom looks at me and says, "She always cries."  I'm thinking, then why the hell didn't you just tell her 'No' to begin with!?!?  Why involve me in your scheme??

As they're walking off with the little girl still crying, the assistant branch manager commented about someone being unhappy and I told her what happened.  She patted me on the shoulder and told me that, "it's okay, we all know you're not that mean."