Good Guy Library Patron and their Donations.

Every weekend I work, I find myself inundated with donations dropped off during the day.  It seems that my branch's local community treats every weekend like "Spring Cleaning" season.  Some patrons don't even bother parking properly, they just pull up to the front of the library, ignoring the yellow curb and numerous signs saying not to "Park or Stand."  They block part of the sidewalk and entrance road while they bring in their boxes and bags of donations.

Bad Patron, Bad..

Some don't even bother bringing them in to the library, they just drop them off in front of the branch and leave.  I guess it is our fault because our sign only says not to drop off donations IN the book drop, it says nothing about dropping stuff off OUTSIDE of the book drop...

I was surprised when a patron came in with a stack of National Geographic books and first asked me if the library would have any use for them.  I checked the ILS and told him that we could actually add them to the branch's collection.  He seemed very grateful that they would serve a purpose and then asked if the library would want or need his 15 year collection of National Geographic Magazines.  I know how sentimental some people can be with their collections, so I tried to put it nicely that the library didn't need it.  He replied, "Do you know who would want them then?  I've asked local schools, Goodwill, other libraries."  I didn't want to be that guy who had to break it to him that his meticulous collecting was all for naught, I could only tell him, "Hmmm, yeah, I'm not sure who would want them then."

But seriously though, some donations are pure crap, either completely outdated items.  Or literal crap, people treat book slots like their personal garbage bin.  Sometimes you will find gold, a newly released book with hundreds of holds in mint condition.  We'll take what we can get with these nonstop budget cuts, the collections budget has really taken a hit.

The Rules of the Library #3

Rules of the Library #3: Just because the library "accepts donations" does not mean it is your personal dumpster.

This past weekend a coworker came up to my desk and said that the circ manager asked if I could pick up the books "some patron" dumped in front of the outside bookdrop.

Haven't held a floppy in a looooong ass time...

As I was pushing the cart full of crap past the circ desk, I told the circ manager that if I can get a name to look up in our patron database by going through these books, someone will be getting a phone call or email.

I was able to find a couple of certificates of course completion but the name did not bring back any results.  None of the items dumped were of any use or value for the Friends' booksale.  Seriously, who wants or needs to learn about old school DOS or Excel 7.0, not 2007, but the 1995 version.

Dear Library People...

I found this little gem taped to a book in the drop last week.  When I first saw a piece of paper attached to a book, I instantly thought it was a note that a patron lost a book and this was its replacement, which is NOT the way we handle replacements.  Patrons should also not drop cash in the bookdrop thinking that it will magically apply to their account's late fees.  It doesn't work that way and until the library accepts online payments, stop trying avoid the walk of shame and please come inside the branch.

Anyways, back to the note, after reading the note I thought that this is an example of great parenting.  Unfortunately the jaded library work side to me thought, hmmm, maybe this is a new scheme to avoid paying fees.  I wasn't the only one who thought this after I emailed this to my coworker-friends.  The reactions I got were: "How cute," "Go mom!," and "That's pretty funny, but I'm so cynical so I instantly wondered if it was a trick to get the fines removed."

So Miss Danielle, I was able to remove any associated fees, unfortunately, I was not able to let Ted know how sorry you are.

The Rules of Circulation #07 (The RoC)

 "Never Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth, unless its Dead and Decaying"....

A patron came up and handed me a book saying that a while back he couldn't find this book.  He ended up paying for it but he just found it and wanted to give it back.  I told him that we wouldn't be able to give him a refund and he smirked and said that it was okay and that he wanted the library to add it back to its shelves.

I didn't fully comprehend the reason of his smugness until I took a better look at the book in the backroom and noticed the Hazmat like condition it was in.  Seriously, you could play connect the dots with all of the individual colonies.  All of the pages were warped with water damage and as you can see from the above picture, it turned into a petri dish.  I quickly bagged it and took it to the dumpster.

Did this patron return this book knowing it was rife with hazardous spores ---- probably.  Have patrons "donated" similar materials thinking the library/Friends would find good use for it, yes.  Some have good (but clearly void of any common sense) intentions while others rest on the nefarious end of the spectrum.

I cannot stress how much the library DOESN'T NEED your lifelong collection of 'National Geographic' or 'TV Guide.'  But it has such treasures, such as the first cover of "Alf" you say, thanks but no thanks.  Save that stuff for neighborhood yard sales.  The library's bookdrop is not your personal dumpster.  If I ever find anyone using it as such, I will send Detective Bookman after you and you will pay the consequences, which will involve volunteering your time to rat on any patrons who find any loopholes with the internet filters.

The Book Drop is NOT a Trash Bin.

The P.A.T.R.O.N. Award of the week goes to whoever dumped a whole bin of soggy, moldy, smelly "donations" in the bookdrop.


The fact that you actually handled these items when they were placed in your car, driven to the library, and then carried to the bookdrop leaves me to believe that you must be crazy to think that the library could/would find use in these items.

Detective Bookman is on the case and when the DNA lab results return from Tech Services you will be billed for all of the Purell we had to use after throwing your garbage away.

Bookdrop Hazards #12

If being outdoors is so great, then what are  these insects doing indoors?

A couple days ago, I opened up the book drop door to find this intruder sitting on top of the pile like he/she was playing King of the Bookdrop Hill.

I swear this guy/girl must have trained under Master Mantis from Kung Fu Panda, because:
1.) this bug has insanely supernatural strength for being able to open the bookdrop slot and slide in.

2.) it managed to stay on top of the pile directly above the shoot without being crushed from the return deluge of Naruto or Tsubasa or whatever those crazy teens are reading these days.

You Know it's a Sunday When...

The picture is of the bookdrop shoot turned "Slip-n-Slide." For all of those less fortunate who have never experienced riding/sliding/falling down one, I can honestly say you're not missing much. Because any pebble or bump that was under the tarp hurt like hell!

I don't know what it is about working Sundays, but it’s very unique because it always comes along with its special set of patrons and problems.

It started off with a regular problem patron who thinks the whole staff is against her. She wanted my coworkers' names to report them to the higher ups. She then used the public phones to call the cops ON US, they never bothered showing up (shocker).

Later my coworker commented about how quickly it got dark and a patron responded by letting us know that there was a tornado watch (fun). I was about to go on break and I had one leg in the elevator when the whole place when dark. I was a couple seconds away from being trapped, not cool at all. The power never came on and we had to check people out by writing down their card numbers and item numbers. Damn, did I curse the 50 item maximum limit and the patrons who chose to exercise that right. Seriously though, you see us working with flashlights, or the illumination of our cell phones, and you get impatient because we have to use pen and paper --- dummies.

After a messy day like that, I ended up watching 'Inception' after some coworkers and friends talked it up. Man, the only way I can describe it is: "Mind-f@*k." Yeah, pardon the language, but it is a great movie! When I walked into work, another coworker found out I watched it last night and she quickly cornered me and we started analyzing and breaking it down.

Bookdrop Danger #76

Candy Jelly Fish and Precalculus don't play well.
I was the fortunate one who was working the bookdrop when this item came through. I got so mad because I touched this foul thing that I wanted to charge the patron for the damaged fee because the "fish" were literally fused with the book. But a circ manager said not to and to just discard it. That's management for you...

One of the Many Hazards of the Bookdrop...

Never mind the occasional book that flies down the shoot at the speed of light thumping you on the head. This little thing could probably do some damage if it bit you. Luckily my coworker saw it and called me over before she reached in there. I took care of it...

Thar's Gold in Them Books

Apparently there's money to be found in books, literally. Over the years, I have heard stories about how people have returned books with valuable items in them. I have always crossed my fingers while doing the morning book drop that I would find a crisp $100 bill stuck between pages 156 and 157 of the latest James Patterson novel. Albeit any form of paper money would have been a nice surprise to find but these millionaire patrons never seem to return their books while I am working the desk. Where are these patrons that use money as book marks? I know they exist somewhere out there.

At one of the county branches a father was hoping to reward his son for completing a book, which was required for his school's summer reading, by placing a $5 bill at the very last page of the book. Needless to say, necessary school reading was not enough motivation for the kid to finish the book and it was returned to their local library. When the dad asked how the book ended and the son said he never finished it and returned the book, the dad called the library and they found the book on the shelves with the $5 still there.

At another branch a volunteer was working the book drop when they came across a hollowed out book. It was one of those "safe" books, where you can stash your ever depreciating cash or your diamonds from would-be hopefully, illiterate thieves. The book was filled with old antique jewelry. The library staff ended up finding the rightful owner.

All I want to know is, when can I come across something good? The most memorable thing I have ever found was also the most disturbing. I was checking in your typical romance novel, you know the ones with the cover of shirtless six-pack Steve holding some long haired damsel in some far flung foreign country, when what happens to fall out on to the circulation desk ---- a condom. Thank goodness it was unused and still wrapped but still, a condom, really? I guess a lady patron did not get the "jumpstart" she was expecting from reading the book. Don't even get me started on 'Romance Novels' either, that's the topic for an entirely different entry. Anyways, I was considering putting a note on her account saying that she left something personal in a book she returned and that the item would be held for her.

I did find a credit card in one, actually it was for Ann Taylor stores. I was able to track down the patron who was relieved that it didn't fall into the hands of someone else. Granted, I'm sure if some ne'er do well teen had found it they would have been at the nearest 7-Eleven trying to score some free slurpees.

From what I have observed, patrons use just about anything as bookmarks. Nothing is worse than working in the middle of winter when you check in a newly dropped off book and out falls a plane ticket stub to some warm tropical country along with some grains of sand. Plane ticket stubs are the second most common impromptu bookmarks after check out receipts. The second most disgusting would be use band-aids followed by emery boards.

All I can ask is that if you borrow books, make sure you don't use anything of value or related to personal hygiene as a bookmark. Thanks.