Not your usual library staff meeting...

Have to make sure his baby is ready for the summer...

In lieu of our boring monthly staff meeting, my branch manager sent out an email saying that we are having a surprise baby shower for my supervisor.  His wife is due any day now, so my work schedule is up in the air since I may need to cover a shift or two.

On another note, my literacy council student passed his citizenship test and is officially an American!  I didn't realize how much I had forgotten about the government and civics until I was helping him prepare for the process.  "Name a power that belongs to the state" --- what now!??

I Love Childrens Librarians...

Dunnnn Dun, Dunnn Dun...  More Books Need Augmentation Apps...

Yesterday, the quarterly, biannual, whenever they feel like it, Childrens Librarian Management meeting was held at my branch.  Needless to say, I was really looking forward to it.  One of my old branch coworkers emailed me a week before to say that she was coming in extra early to say hi and catch-up aka gossip.  She even brought me a little goody bag with a bacon flavored lollipop.

I ended up getting stuck on the desk for the whole duration, 3 straight hours because the assistant branch manager had to set up the web cam for their teleconference and had to be present during the whole thing.  The video came through just fine, but surprisingly a good majority of the librarians are near retirement age and they had a hard time hearing the presentation.  I could only imagine the whole room going, "We can't hear it," "What did she say?"  "Can't you turn the volume up?"  It stressed out my manager so much that he had to take a break outside.

When I came in to work today, my branch Children's librarian was so excited to show me one of the things she learned in the meeting: the 2013 Guinness World Records Book augmented reality app.  Granted it only works on a handful of pages and it is actually pretty wonky.  I tried it on the branch's iPad and then on my Android tablet and both had their own issues but overall it's pretty damn cool.  My favorite pages were the dunking parrot and of course the shark one --- "DEEP BLUE SEA... THEY ATE ME!  A EFFING SHARK ATE ME!!"

Me getting paid to play with stuff at the Info Desk.

Talk Like a Pirate Day AND a Library Staff Meeting today... should be interesting.

More Pics

Reportin' Fur Duty Matey!

What a Difference a Branch can make...

My branch had our dreaded monthly staff meeting this week. Our new branch manager stopped by to sit in and meet every one before she officially starts which I thought was really nice. She's been with the library for awhile so I was bound to know someone who has worked with her. I got all the "dirt" on her before when I just found out she was a candidate. Good thing is, is that there is not "dirt," she's good peoples. She's coming from a bigger branch to our smaller one, a move I also made. After the general staff meeting, we broke up into departments and one of her first questions was, "Any problem patrons?" I couldn't hold back a laugh, I've seen the incident reports from her branch, it is in a sketchy area of the county. As a general comparison the median income difference is about $40,000: the median income for her branch's zip code is $25,000; our branch's is at $65,000. Our childrens librarian answered her question by going on about how some of the little children can be loud and tend to run around, but hey, there little kids. My supervisor chimed in and mentioned that it isn't the children but the parents and nannies faults. My laugh made my info coworkers look at me, and I told them upfront, "This is a nice easy branch, this is a great place to start out in or to retire from." It is a library branch with training wheels. You will get those atypical disgruntled patrons, but you will not get the extreme crazies. If the biggest patron issue of the branch is noisy little kids, you've got it pretty easy. That's my new nickname for the branch, "The Big Easy"!

Brace Yourselves, Summer Reading is Coming...

Yesterday's staff meeting was the last one before SRP starts, so the Info meeting was all about it: book lists, book talks, signing up, youth volunteers, etc.  It was the first time we ever used the whole allotted time talking about Info related stuff, I mean, there never really is anything "new or radical" in the public library world.

It was also talked about during the all staff meeting.  I just want to take the time out to say thanks to my coworkers who volunteered me to take the meeting notes... punks.  "That's what you get for coming prepared," said my coworker sitting next to me as she was playing Angry Birds on her phone.  I'll just botch the notes when I type them up so they won't choose me again.

It was agreed that the teen poster looked like an ad for Apple and the theme: "We Own the Night," seems completely unrelated to SRP so they will not be posted.  And it appears that I'm the only one who finds the guitar playing bats NOT cute.  Yet another example of horrible library marketing.

Tangent Warning:  Theon, wtf!?!??  You quickly have tied Joffrey as the #1 person I love to hate.

Librarians and Book Displays...

This library creepster stared at me my whole shift.

Librarians love, love, LOVE their book displays.  It's one of the few ways they can show off their creativity at work.  It reminds me of grade school and how teachers would decorate their classrooms and bulletin boards, I find it strangely comforting.  Unfortunately, there is only one small space dedicated to displays at my branch and it's tucked away in a corner in non-fiction. 

A lot of library backrooms are bound to be filled with holiday themed decorations.  I believe librarians tend to become hardcore hoarders the longer they've been in the profession, especially now with dwindling budgets.  So I really shouldn't have been surprised when I encountered this display when I covered another branch during their staff meeting.  Of course a librarian would own a life-size cardboard cut-out of Fabio.

Year of the Tablet...

This time last year I had never owned a tablet.  Then it started with HP's firesale and I bought a Touchpad.  Around November the Christmas deals started to roll out and within 2 weeks I ended up buying an HTC Flyer, Nook Color, and a Samsung Tab 7, a week after that I bought an HTC View, and then finally another Touchpad.  So I started out 2012 with 6 tablets.

I originally bought them to practice downloading e-books from the library's OverDrive site.  I wanted to gain enough experience to give a detailed review and comparison but I was hooked on the HTC Flyer because of HTC Sense it felt just like a bigger version of my old phone: the HTC Inspire 4G, great phone with a horrible battery, don't buy it! --- I know have a Samsung Galaxy S2 and it really does live up to the hype.  In the end I kept the HTC View (a 32gb, black version of the Flyer) for my personal use.  I gave the Flyer to my sister and a Touchpad to my dad for Christmas, and sold the rest.

I personally LOVE the HTC Flyer/View.  The 7" form factor is perfect to carry around and has enough screen space to read/browse/email comfortably.  Personally, I couldn't spend that much money on a Kindle Fire or Nook Color when I could have a fully loaded tablet.  It's the same size and weight, why not get one that can take notes via a stylus or has front and rear facing cameras?  Then again not many people shop as diligently as I do for the good deals.

Every report from last week's CES says that 2012 is the "Year of the Ultralight" but I tend to disagree.  2012 is the year of the tablet.  With the amount of Kindle questions I am getting at the desk since Christmas, I am in no way shocked to hear that it is estimated that Amazon sold a million Kindles a week during December (one source).  On a side note, Hey ALA, is it now time to pay attention to Amazon or are we just going to chalk it up again as, "Amazon can't beat the library"?  I've never believed that tablets could/would ever replace laptops or desktops now or anytime in the near future; they are just another "must-have" electronic addiction we add to our ever expanding collection.

Today during our monthly meeting, we were told that e-books and a working knowledge of e-readers are now our top priority.  Circ and Info are now supposed to be able to explain to patrons the basics of downloading from OverDrive.  Just a couple months ago, we were supposed to redirect any e-book related questions to OverDrive.  So the library is not the quickest when it comes to adapting to current trends, hopefully they'll act much quicker to unite and defeat the evil empire that is OverDrive.

How to make Library Staff Meetings even more dreadful...

"How can staff meetings get any worse?" you ask, well I'll tell you how!   
TL;DR You spend the majority of meeting time on a complaint from an irrational patron who disrespects staff.

When our branch manager handed out the meeting's itinerary (exhibit 14.a example of Librarians hate trees), there was a collective sigh/grunt of disappointment by the circ staff.  The info side showed no response.  What was circ having a fit over, well it was over the printed email complaint from the devil spawn patron.  This guy is the epitome of an a-hole patron.

The gist of his email complains about how the circ staff comes over to help when he's FAILING at the self-checkout.  He finds it "discourteous and disrespectful," I've witnessed first-hand his blowing up when someone points out that he has miscanned an item and he didn't notice, patrons never notice, they just continue scanning and wonder why only 1 out of their 8 items checked out.  He goes on to mention having "a couple of very pointed exchanges with staff about it."  Pointed - yes.  Exchanges - not really when it's all one-way with him talking down to staff.  He suggests a "refresher in courtesy" for staff and he's upset that "some taxpayers (and their small children) are treated more courteously than others." One Rules of Circulation which I have not delved into --- When a patron refers to themselves or other patrons as "taxpayers" it is accompanied with a complaint.  He goes on to say that if staff was trained this way "I will just shut up and stop re-training them." 

He has blown up on 5 different circ staff, two of which are managers so it's not like he's always being "helped/disrespected" by a disgruntled staff member which do not exist at my branch.  There is nearly a total of 25 years of library experience among his victims so it is not as if they are still tyros of the circ desk.

The branch manager broke us up into 3 groups, I was with two of my info friends and unfortunately the assistant branch manager was also in our group which is like having a group project with the teacher's pet --- no fun to be had.  Although she has also witnessed one of his "retraining sessions" and acknowledges he is an ass.  We spent over a freaking hour on this douche patron.  We were asked to answer three questions: "What does this customer dislike?" --- LIFE  "What is he asking for?" --- A position as circ manager to train us  "Can we accommodate him?" --- Does restraining from punching him in the face whenever he disrespects my coworkers count?

It was a complete waste of time.  Of course management kept saying, "We're not saying that you aren't doing your jobs properly."  Really?  Well their assuming this is a rational patron who has a rational complaint is implying that we don't know how to do our jobs, a monkey could do circ work and monkeys are also known to throw feces... hold on, I think I'm on to something here.

My Coworkers are the Jack Kevorkian's of Type 1 Diabetes.

I was pretty disappointed with the results as I was going through the pictures on my phone.  "Really!?! Just 5 pictures?!"   And then I remembered that during all of the other missed opportunities I had to photo shoot the next cover of "Sugar Lovers," I was too busy looking for a napkin or plate to grab the stash and dash back to my cubicle where I could nibble on the sweet deliciousness that only a donut/cake/chocolate/muffin/cupcake/cookie/ice cream/pie can deliver.  Picture a squirrel perched on a branch going to town with some acorns, yeah, that's me.

Today is yet another dreaded full staff meeting, oh joy.  This time though, our pretty lame "Social Planning Committee" (yes, there's a library committee for that too) decided that we should potluck every staff meeting.  Unfortunately the sign up sheet was pretty lopsided for the dessert half of the meal so our branch assistant decided to nix the food and told everyone to just bring in dessert.  Really!?!?  Are you effing serious??  That's going to be 20+ platters/dishes/buckets of sugar high inducing crap.  Apparently I am not the only one who is hesitant to lose a foot or two for the cause.  My coworker asked me if I heard about any of the bitching about our dessert meeting today.

What am I bringing today?  Insulin.

That Time of the Month Again...

Yesterday all 25+ of the library staff were forced into the meeting room to stare across the tables at each other for 2 straight hours. As you can see from my notes, nothing really important is ever discussed at these meetings.
We did celebrate the 20th anniversary of an employee. Yeah, she's a page. I cannot fathom what its like to page for a decade straight let alone TWO decades. I would go insane. She's been through two building renovations, and numerous managerial regime changes. She's a great person and worker. I wonder if I'll end up "stuck" at the County for the next 20 years too...

Staff Meetings... WHY!??!

Every month it's the same BS.  All 30 of my coworkers and I are herded into the big meeting room and we are stuck for the next 2 hours talking about nothing.

If anything, it is always speculation about the upcoming budget and what it will mean for the library.  And each statement comes with the warning, "This is not finalized yet, but I just wanted you guys to know."  I get most of my library-related information from my coworkers OUTSIDE of the meetings.


This time around we had a member of the Library Foundation come in to give us a "pep-talk."  You know the usual - "Public libraries are important!"  His speech turned into a scare talk when he mentioned the privatization of public library systems around the country.  Of course my older coworkers have never heard of this before and this threw them all into a fit --- "Oh nooez! What about my retirement!?!"  The Foundation guy even said that the higher up's have not even mentioned or considered this option, so why did he even bring it up???

You know what, if the library is ever run by a private company, I can tell you a couple of people who should be let go. 

If time is money, then why is every branch wasting EVERYONE'S time, tomorrow, I have to cover the desk for another branch while they have to go through the same thing.  SAME ISH, DIFFERENT LIBRARY.

Crazy Ish My Older Coworker(s) Say...

If someone can get a TV show based on all of the crazy thing their dad has said, why can't I follow suit and become an uber-millionaire based on my crazy coworker(s).  For my show, I would like Betty White to play the role of my coworker.

At the last circ meeting, I was able to get her to say that she thought that one of the library branches in our system loans out prom dresses (as long as you dry clean them before you return them). 

 Like every circ meeting, the first 30 minutes or so is spent playing, "My Patron Story is Better Than Yours."  The conversation turned to parents who let their children run loose around the branch when my coworker chimed in with her advise:

"I scare the sh*t out of them.  I tell them that they shouldn't let their children run around unless they want to see some dirty old man penis being flashed at them."


Other notable patron interactions that were shared during the meeting: 
- the guy who completely refused to fill out the information on the application for a library card.  He swore that once we put that information in our ILS, the data will be beamed via satellite to the CIA and they will have his social security number.  Yeah, like they don't have access to that already.

- the lady who held her cellphone up like a police badge at the circ desk, demanding to know, "Who is your legal counsel??"

- the guy who swore at the library system because we wouldn't refund him for a lost item he paid for which was found weeks later.  He claimed it was some big conspiracy and that the library was the reason for the Tea Party.

Food + Meetings = Bad News

Every time there is some sort of food brought to any of the meetings, whether it's candy, cake, mixed nuts(weak sauce), etc, I am always skeptical as to why: "Why are they trying to butter us up?"-mentality.  Sure, there has been the "Retiring" and "Going-Away" aka "I'm sick of you people, so I'm going to another branch" meetings where food is the norm, but if it's just a regular meeting and they bring food to butter everyone up, I always assume it can't be good.

There's a Circ meeting today and I just got an email saying there will be pizza... that can't be good.

The tomato topped, round doughy goodness is being brought in as the harbinger of bad news.  If it's Domino's, there won't be any temptation, that stuff tastes like someone took a Thomas the Tank boardbook and melted cheese on it.  They can't fire me if I don't accept a slice right!?? 

That Time of the Month...

Today will be the first staff meeting in the past 2 months. Because of the budget crunch, the higher ups realized that monthly meetings: staff, info, circ, was too much. Instead of 3 meetings a month, each section meets every other month (which is still one too many from my perspective). They're trying to bribe and butter everyone up with pizza from the Friends of the Library. Nice try, have an Open Bar and I'll be there.

How to Survive Meetings Tip #25

Using an amusing writing utensil preferably with moving parts or lights can keep you and your coworkers entertained. The feather waves really made the pen worth it while I was taking notes (aka doodling).

Manager Meetings...

are a great time to kick your feet up, relax, and enjoy the time you don't have to deal with them.