Not your usual library staff meeting...

Have to make sure his baby is ready for the summer...

In lieu of our boring monthly staff meeting, my branch manager sent out an email saying that we are having a surprise baby shower for my supervisor.  His wife is due any day now, so my work schedule is up in the air since I may need to cover a shift or two.

On another note, my literacy council student passed his citizenship test and is officially an American!  I didn't realize how much I had forgotten about the government and civics until I was helping him prepare for the process.  "Name a power that belongs to the state" --- what now!??

Operation Creepy Carrots

The Abyss...

My supervisor made the wise decision to place a picture book on the ledge of his cubicle.  Needless to say the book fell into the abyss a few days later.  It was a slow night, as usual, so he and I spent the last hour looking for items in the branch to use to retrieve it.

The circ manager saw both of us on his desk with our heads against the wall and asked us "what the hell are you two up to now?"  She told us it was a lost cause because the gap between the wall and cubicle was too narrow and the only way to separate the cubicle wall would be to dismantle the whole row of cubicles, 6 in total.  The circ manager just rolled her eyes and told us that it was impossible to get it back and to just mark it missing --- oh yeah, challenge accepted.  We only had an hour before closing so we called it quits for the night.

After clopening (Clopening; noun: when you are scheduled to close the night and open the next morning), we returned to our mission to free Creepy Carrots from the cubicle crevasse.  We ended up using two yard sticks and "chop-sticking" the book free.  I sent this pic of the successful rescue and she just replied, "So how much cursing and band-aids did it take?"  No band-aids were needed --- thank you very much, a few curse words though...

There's a book in my boot!

Two Can Play That Game...

Every single week you can find some form of pure crack sugar in the breakroom, usually in the form of a pie or cookies.  I didn't think it was fair that everyone but me was contributing to the diabetes outbreak in our library so I brought in my M&M Transformers dispenser (dork much? Yes that's me).

My efforts were quickly outdone when my coworker showed up later in the day with homemade blueberry-lemon bars.  My baking illiterate self accepted my defeat while stuffing my face with lemon bars in my cubicle.

No Rest for the Weary...

Last week was my only break between spring and summer semester.

I will be taking Tech Services along with Cataloging and Classification.  Sounds exciting, no?

I spent my last school-free weekend hanging out with coworkers at an uber-kitschy mini-golf course and I wouldn't have preferred it any other way.

My Coworkers are the Jack Kevorkian's of Type 1 Diabetes.

I was pretty disappointed with the results as I was going through the pictures on my phone.  "Really!?! Just 5 pictures?!"   And then I remembered that during all of the other missed opportunities I had to photo shoot the next cover of "Sugar Lovers," I was too busy looking for a napkin or plate to grab the stash and dash back to my cubicle where I could nibble on the sweet deliciousness that only a donut/cake/chocolate/muffin/cupcake/cookie/ice cream/pie can deliver.  Picture a squirrel perched on a branch going to town with some acorns, yeah, that's me.

Today is yet another dreaded full staff meeting, oh joy.  This time though, our pretty lame "Social Planning Committee" (yes, there's a library committee for that too) decided that we should potluck every staff meeting.  Unfortunately the sign up sheet was pretty lopsided for the dessert half of the meal so our branch assistant decided to nix the food and told everyone to just bring in dessert.  Really!?!?  Are you effing serious??  That's going to be 20+ platters/dishes/buckets of sugar high inducing crap.  Apparently I am not the only one who is hesitant to lose a foot or two for the cause.  My coworker asked me if I heard about any of the bitching about our dessert meeting today.

What am I bringing today?  Insulin.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss.

Our children's librarian decided that everyone working today should be rocking a Dr. Seuss hat.

It could be worse, my coworker tried volunteering me last night to wear the full Cat in the Hat costume. Mercifully I work the morning shift so the timing worked out for me. Another coworker tried on the suit last night and she was prancing around in the back room. She is so freaking excited about wearing it. I would define her as a "Prop-Librarian;" she doesn't own any holiday themed sweaters, but she'll wear a leprechaun hat for St. Patty's or a star spangled hair band on July 4th.

Her surprising alacrity to sport the Cat in the Hat costume leaves me to believe that she's a closet furry (don't Google that, it's really NSFW, that and you won't be able to get the images out of your head).

Library Social Planning Committee...

I am now the one and only unofficial member of the "Unofficial Social Planning Committee" for my branch. 

A few coworkers met up last night to have dinner and watch 'Cedar Rapids.'  In all honesty, we could have skipped the movie and ended up talking all night.  The movie wasn't really all that funny, we turned it into our own personal Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Only one Info person came out, but then again I only told 2 of them about it, my other Info friend was stuck at home with her husband and son.  It has been requested that I set up the next hang out at the local bowling alley.

On another note, two more foreign movies to recommend: 'The Troll Hunter' and 'Tropa de Elite 2.'

'The Troll Hunter' is a low budget Norwegian flick about, well, troll hunting which makes it very unique in that respect.  The mock documentary style isn't new but it works well with this movie.  Besides, modern trolling is only referred to pesky online forum users, this brings back the Grimm-version.  The CGI isn't the greatest, but the Norwegian scenery makes up for it.

'Tropa de Elite 2' is a bad ass Brazilian action movie about police corruption in Rio de Janeiro which makes it completely plausible.  The whole movie reminded me of the Favela map in MW2.  Hopefully it won't matter that I watched the sequel first.

T.G.I.F.

There's nothing like ending a horribly micromanaged work week than going out with some coworkers and hitting up a karaoke joint.

A Children's Librarian's Word of Warning about [Public] Librarianship.

I can honestly say that at my branch, I only have one friend on the Info side.  The rest I would define as "friendly coworkers."  That's 1 out of 13.  When they found out I was going for my MLIS, they would talk about the profession with all too rosy glasses, without one negative thing to say about librarianship, particularly public librarianship.  That kind of alacrity about working the info desk at a public library makes me question their honesty.  It was like hearing someone reading the ALA website out-loud, all the so-called good and none of bad aka reality.

Luckily, there's my one info friend.  Ironically, she sits on the polar opposite on the opinion scale from her colleagues.  She has flat out told me she regrets getting her MLIS and she always ends every sentence with, "Can't say I didn't warn you," even if we weren't talking about anything library related, I guess it's just her knee-jerk reaction to constantly remind me that I am heading to library hell.  Even when I try to suggest that academic or special libraries ought to be different, she shakes her head disappointingly "no."  I guess, I'm too hard headed, but I really see myself any where BUT a public library.  *SPOILER ALERT* 10 years from now I will be chained to the Info Desk which I stared at during my time working the Circ Desk.

Like any real friend, we have decided that I should take swift action if she ever joins the Management Darkside.  She gave me these warning signs to watch out for:

1). Barking at innocent subordinates.
2). Wearing SOCKS with SANDALS -- all year round.
3). Wearing loose, baggy, ill-fitting clothing, all year round.
4). Drinking the cool aid which [library management darkside] provides on a regular basis, so to speak.
5). Being overweight, yet always being on Weight Watchers.
6). Wearing Christmas sweaters -- not Christmas-inspired sweaters, but sweaters with, say, Santa on them.
7). Having a lot of stuff with cats on it.
8). Defining a Good Day as one in which your colleagues brought in doughnuts.
9). Believing that wearing Chapstick counts as wearing makeup.
10). Working at [our branch] full time.

This was posted strictly verbatim and I think that they do serve as the perfect check list to make sure one isn't becoming a library zombie.

"You've Been Warned...."

Best and Worst Jobs in 2011... Librarians in the Top 50!??!

Congrats to all you librarians out there.  Not only is 2011 the Year of the Rabbit, but the year Librarianship ranks #29 on The Wall Street Journal's Best and Worst Jobs of 2011.  No lie, AND shockingly enough, it is not on the "Worst" side, it's on the "Best" spectrum.

Wedged right in between Optometrist/Computer Programmer and Medical Technologist.

Apparently they ranked the jobs based on "income, working environment, stress, physical demands and job outlook.  Oh, and the all important expertise of their "researchers."  I'm pretty sure a librarian was not a part of the researchers.

Anyone who works at a public library knows that a LOT of workers are on the older end of the age spectrum and you would think that they would be close to retiring but of course they love their jobs so much that they are hanging on to them, even if the economy is in the crapper.

I guess the only aspect librarianship has going for it based on the WSJ ranking would be the physical demands.  The library system recently upped its physical demands from having to be able to life 20 pounds to 30 pounds.  Yeah, if you want to trim the ranks, the minimum weight lifting requirement would be the first think I would suggest testing.

How Many Library Workers...

How many library workers does it take to "ooh and aww" over a picture of kittens in party hats?
5, not including myself who stepped out of my cubicle to document this typical library distraction.
I swear, kittens are the krytonite to any librarian.

Crazy Ish My Older Workers Say Part 2...

Two of my coworkers were working on the daily delivery together and were talking about the usual random stuff: what they're sewing/knitting, what new recipe they tried out, how their cats are doing, etc...  When the topic turned towards the TSA and the new pat-downs/feel-ups, whatever you want to call them.

I was surprised when one of them mentioned that she saw "that Jon Stewart guy" making fun of the whole situation and that he referred to that particular body region as "junk."

Coworker 1:  "Junk?  Is that right?"
Coworker 2: "Uhm, I don't know, why would you call it that?"
Coworker 1: "I don't know.  But I'm pretty sure they called it 'their junk,' I mean we wouldn't know because we don't have that."

I was in my cubicle next door laughing at the whole conversation.  Thank goodness they didn't know I was there pretending to do work, because I know that they would have yelled over to me to clarify that they used the term "junk" properly.

Ah yes, "Don't touch my junk" is now added to my repertoire of pop culture phrases such as "Don't tase me bro" and "Punk ass book jockeys."

Crazy Ish My Older Coworker(s) Say...

If someone can get a TV show based on all of the crazy thing their dad has said, why can't I follow suit and become an uber-millionaire based on my crazy coworker(s).  For my show, I would like Betty White to play the role of my coworker.

At the last circ meeting, I was able to get her to say that she thought that one of the library branches in our system loans out prom dresses (as long as you dry clean them before you return them). 

 Like every circ meeting, the first 30 minutes or so is spent playing, "My Patron Story is Better Than Yours."  The conversation turned to parents who let their children run loose around the branch when my coworker chimed in with her advise:

"I scare the sh*t out of them.  I tell them that they shouldn't let their children run around unless they want to see some dirty old man penis being flashed at them."


Other notable patron interactions that were shared during the meeting: 
- the guy who completely refused to fill out the information on the application for a library card.  He swore that once we put that information in our ILS, the data will be beamed via satellite to the CIA and they will have his social security number.  Yeah, like they don't have access to that already.

- the lady who held her cellphone up like a police badge at the circ desk, demanding to know, "Who is your legal counsel??"

- the guy who swore at the library system because we wouldn't refund him for a lost item he paid for which was found weeks later.  He claimed it was some big conspiracy and that the library was the reason for the Tea Party.

My Older Coworkers Say the Darndest Things...

I was near the circ desk when one of my coworkers was explaining the library basics to a newly knighted patron.  She was telling her about the special collections each library has and she said, "Yeah, (so and so branch) even loans out prom dresses.  After you wear them, you take them to the dry cleaners to get cleaned and bring them back."

I stopped what I was doing and had to think about that one, did I miss that meeting or was I just not paying attention as usual??

I really believe that some of my coworkers have worked way too long at the library and need to retire.  After spending more than a decade dealing with the public, I can understand how and why my coworkers say and act the way they do.

When I got back to my cubicle, I sent out a text to everyone library related and they all texted back asking if I was be facetious.  I replied that 1. Why would I joke about that and 2. What kind of crazy person would make that scenario up!?

There is a circ staff meeting tomorrow and I plan to ask what special collections the other branches have in their system in the hopes that she says some more crazy ish.  She's already given up on the customer service aspect, she cusses more at work during the week than I do during a given month.

Heck, I'm sure it's all just a game to her now.  She probably pushes the envelope to see how far she can go before a patron will call her out.  Next thing you know, she will be selling tickets to the weekly rooster fights that happen in the staff break room.

Rules of Circ #14 (RoC)

"I Can Name That Patron in Two Adjectives"

My coworkers and I encounter a lot of people during our time on the desk and while covering the phones.  Unless you are a frequent patron, exceptional nice (or attractive), troublesome, or for a lack of a better word, down right "quirky," we do remember your name.  And if you are really special, we even may have a nickname for you.  Not that it means it's a bad thing.  Several of my female coworkers have dubbed one guy the "hot dad."

Also, if you have a unique name, we will most likely point it out to each other.  Seriously, what else are we supposed to talk about at work: cats? recipes? sewing/crocheting?  I'd fail on all three topics.

We don't make fun of patrons, okay, so *some* of my coworkers do, but when you deal with hundreds of people during the week it can be hard to recall certain patrons unless you describe them like "Porn Dude," you know, that creepy guy that always looks at porn on the public internet stations without regard for those around him.

I know it would be pointless of me to say not to take it personally but really, it is personal.

Saturdays off are Great.

Saturdays off during the first snowfall of the year are even better.
Reminding your coworkers that its your day off while they're at work... Priceless.

I Love My Coworkers...

They're all unique and fun to work with.
One of them is new to the area from Iraq. She worked in the Green Zone in Baghdad for 2 years before coming to the States. I found this out while we were both avoiding working the circ desk the first hour of opening. All the problem patrons seem to pop up then.
It was our first time actually getting to know each other. When I asked her what she wanted to do here, she just laughed and said it was "silly." After a little bit more of playful prodding, she said she wanted to be an actress, but her family told her it was stupid. I told her she should go for it, she just blushed and said, "you don't think its stupid?" I told her this is the States, you can do whatever you want, be whoever you want to be. Hate to resound on that cliche, but it is true. Hope she just doesn't become "Hollywood" and forget who I am when she becomes famous.