Parenting at your local library.

I had a mom come up to me at the info desk asking if there's "someone in charge of the library."  Whenever patrons ask me that, I always try to think of what they want to complain about before they actually tell me and how far up the organization chart I have to refer them to.

She then went on to say that she wanted to complain about a librarian.  Did she want to complain about me in front of me!?  Maybe I said something wrong on the phone, I mean she literally (yes, I am using that word correctly) just walked into the library and headed straight to me.  I then thought about which of my info-coworkers and what they could have done to upset her.  The patron then pointed her head towards the circ desk towards the circ manager.  She then proceeded to air her grievance with me after I asked if she wanted to talk to the assistant branch manager.

"Everytime I come into the library with my daughters that librarian is always shushing them and telling them not to run.  My one daughter is 2 years old!  2 years old!!  What does she want me to do, make her wear a mask??  I want her to look forward to coming to the library and reading, how is that supposed to happen when she's constantly being told to be quiet and not to run??"

Really?  This is the first time I have noticed this mother and her 2 daughters in the library, and her daughter ran straight to the childrens section and was yelling until she hit the circ desk and the circ manager shushed her.  Not like the shushing did much, the little girl continued to run around and talk loudly.  I wanted to tell her that her daughter wouldn't be shushed and told not to run, IF SHE DIDN'T DO EITHER IN THE LIBRARY.  But I was not in the mood to be told that her daughter is just expressing herself and her feelings, and who are we to suppress them.

She definitely did not win me over and I just handed her the branch manager's business card.  I gave a head's up to the managers to expect an email from her.

A Patron is a Patron, unless They're a Douche...

Not really what the Patron Note field was intended for but
some of my coworkers can't seem to suppress their rage.

When you work with the public, your chances of encountering those with the "holier than thou" mentality increase tenfold.  Self-centered would be the best way to group these people together.  They are the ones who feel like they are above everyone else and the same ground rules do not apply to them.  They are the ones who will argue every single time they incur a late fee under $1.  "It isn't my fault, something is wrong with your system," or "Well, I didn't get an email reminder about them so I didn't know they were due so I shouldn't have to pay the late fees."

Last week a patron came up to the desk to say that he had the conference room reserved.  Yes, yes he did, but he was also an hour late so I cancelled his reservation and placed another patron in the room.  The rules state that rooms are only held for 30 minutes before reservations are deemed null and void.  Luckily my supervisor happened to be at the desk with me because I do not think I would have been able to deal with him cordially.  The patron became very indignant, raising his voice because he felt that it would help his cause.

He told the patron, whom I shall refer to as D, that he is an hour late and that the room was given to someone else who asked for it.  D replied, "Look here, I told you last week when I called that I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it at that specified time."  D then said that he it was my supervisor he talked to last Friday to make the reservations.  Yeah, well, my supervisor and I both had that day off and we are the only males who work info.  D then said, "There's only a guy and two little girls in there, you need to make them leave the room so I can use it.  I need to conduct this interview NOW."  It was at this point I had to bite my tongue and restrain myself from telling him that I didn't give a damn about who he was or what he was doing.  My supervisor ended up sticking him in one of the larger meeting rooms which he technically didn't have to offer since they are only meant to be used for bigger groups.  I don't think I would have offered it to him, I would have told him about the park bench across the street.

I've encountered D before when I covered another branch for its staff meeting.  He was also using a meeting room but this time someone else was waiting on him because he didn't leave at the scheduled time.  I ended up telling him 3 times that someone else had the room reserved and they were waiting on him.  The first time he didn't even look up when I opened the room and said, "Excuse me," he just kept going on about his business.  The third time I was done, I opened the door and stood in the doorway until he got pissed off and packed up his things and finished his meeting outside of the library.

Thankfully, these people are far and few between.  If it wasn't this way, the term "going librarian" would be the common synonym for workplace violence.

The Rules of the Library #10: Donating Bootlegs and Counterfeit items.

42 Examples of Copyright Piracy

Rules of the Library #10: Please do not donate counterfeit or bootleg copies to the library.

Last week, some thoughtful patron donated these bootleg Chinese/Hong-Kong movies.  One of the librarians wanted to put it in the book sale but had an inkling that these might be fakes so they put them on my desk to look at first.  The explanation process was akin to when I explain to my parents why that email about asking for their PayPal account information is phishing for the fifth time (spoiler alert: they have never had a PayPal account nor do they know what it is).

I chose a movie at random, took it out of its cheap paper sleeve, and popped it in my PC.  I do admit that the print quality of the DVD holders is pretty high, but the print on the DVD's themselves looked pretty bad, that and they were in cheap plastic sleeves.  When I was skimming through the movie, I pointed out the extremely poor quality of the video, it was like watching a 3D movie but without the glasses.  If that wasn't enough for a dead give-away, the watermark of the Chinese pirate site embedded in the movie was.

The Death of Gangam Style... Libraries take note.

Yeah, Gangam Style was the ish when it first came out, but now it has died a quick death to overexposure.  Just look at how many "parody" videos are out there.  This video is perfect symbolism of its death rattle.

So to all you libraries and librarians out there, from here on out, you are NOT ALLOWED to make any video parodies using anything related to Gangam Style: dancing, music, etc.

The Rules of the Library #4: Fans, Fans Everywhere.

Rules of the Library #4: Fans, Fans Everywhere.

They don't call it the "Greying of the profession" for nothing.  With older coworkers in every branch, a lot of them experience hot flashes on the daily.  Usually being the lone male in the library, I have heard way too many jokes and references to menopause from my coworkers.  That usually isn't the worst of it, it's the jokes about Viagra and their husbands which I usually cringe at.

Right at your hoo-ha

It is not uncommon to hear the whirring of fans at the info desk, circ desk, and the backroom.  This is all year round too.  The circ manager stopped asking my opinion if "the branch is too hot" during the winter months --- "Wait, your opinion doesn't count!"  I'm sitting at the info desk, all layered up, and she's across the way at the circ desk with a fan blowing at hurricane speed.  I don't know if fan salespeople exist, but if you do, hit up your local library and you can send your children to college from all the sales.

The Rules of the Library #3

Rules of the Library #3: Just because the library "accepts donations" does not mean it is your personal dumpster.

This past weekend a coworker came up to my desk and said that the circ manager asked if I could pick up the books "some patron" dumped in front of the outside bookdrop.

Haven't held a floppy in a looooong ass time...

As I was pushing the cart full of crap past the circ desk, I told the circ manager that if I can get a name to look up in our patron database by going through these books, someone will be getting a phone call or email.

I was able to find a couple of certificates of course completion but the name did not bring back any results.  None of the items dumped were of any use or value for the Friends' booksale.  Seriously, who wants or needs to learn about old school DOS or Excel 7.0, not 2007, but the 1995 version.