(Potential) Snowpacalypse 2014...

Snow has yet to touch the ground, but tomorrow is already a paid snow day, wwwwwooooooootttt!

I decided to make a last minute grocery and gas station run tonight.  I felt guilty for the recent influx of pizza invading my diet (damn you Papa John's and Pizza Hut deals), so I bought some bagged salad, grapes (seems like the good boxes of clementines were already picked over, also damn you Halo commercials), stereotypical storm-prep milk (there was only 1 non-fat organic carton left), and some Cup-o-Noodles. 

I really enjoy shopping right before a storm, most of the shelves are barren as people frantically scramble to buy what they think they'll need.  I like to pretend that I'm in a pre-post-apocalyptic scenario, like right before the zombie virus hits the region.  During the last snowpacalypse, it lasted for a week or so and grocery store shelves were the emptiest I've ever seen before.  You really had to just buy what was available and make do.  After numerous failed visits to grocery stores in an ever-expanding radius, I was finally able to score some bread and juice from a convenience store.

I still have some leftover gas for the snow-blower from the last snowstorm so I should be good to go.  All I ask is that the electricity stay on so I can continue my binge Netflix re-watching of Top Gear (BBC version of course).

It's too damn cold for this library stuff...

I'll have you know that I did get out of bed last Friday, drove into work, arrived early as usual, and I only cursed 15 times during my commute.  Some people should just stay at home if they do not know how to drive in any weather that doesn't involve the sun shining and dry conditions.  On top of that, these slow driving morons on the road don't even clear all the snow/ice off the top of their cars.  They just hit the highway and let the wind do its thing, leaving everyone driving behind them to dodge the icy remnants.  Punks.

If this freezing cold weather wasn't bad enough on its own, the library heating wasn't running at its full capacity.  One of the boilers was not working and the one that was, was only heating to 80 degrees when it should have been over 100.  Needless to say, I wore my jacket the whole day.

I guess I couldn't really complain because while I was in the break room trying to warm up with a Cup 'o Noodles, I saw this au pair passing by outside, she was really working for her money that day.

To all of my older female library coworkers...

I have a better understanding of why every fan in the library is set to Category 5 -- every single day of the year.

I don't think the A/C turned on at all today.  Yes, there were numerous complaints from patrons, but because upper management feels the need to micromanage every single thing, including every branches' thermostats, we were stuck with a warm, stuffy library.  This is when the temperature actually peaked, it was a steady 80 degrees all day though.

If I ever make bank, I will buy all of my library friends individual fans for their cubicles.

Thanks Sandy!

Hey Hurricane Sandy,

Thanks for the paid day off today, now if you could keep the power on that would be great...

I'll have an El Derecho, yes, I know that Guacamole is extra...

So my past week has been fun.  I was watching 'Brave' with my friend on Friday night when the movie cut out 4 times during the last 10 minutes, kind of ruins the climactic ending.  Similar to the ending of a close March Madness game, the last minute on the clock ends up turning into 5+ minutes.  Some lone high school kid working at the movie theater came in after the third film outage to tell the packed house, which was full of little kids, that it was because of power surges and to expect more delays in the movie.

There were tons of debris on the road and I had to take numerous detours.  On Saturday, I assumed work was cancelled, but I couldn't call or check emails because the whole damn network was down.  The day was ridiculously hot, thankfully my sister never lost power so I spent a couple nights there.  Driving around without any stoplights at major intersections is hazardous to your health.

Seriously, douche, if you didn't learn what to do
from the cars that went before you, your license should be revoked.

Okay, I know it does not happen often, but for those out there who don't know: whenever you come across a downed stoplight, you're supposed to treat it like a four-way stop.  That applies to everyone, including that ass who thinks they're above the rest of society and blows right threw them.  If I were in charge of the DMV, I would put that question in the license renewal exam and anyone who fails that question, automatically has to take a special driving course.

Two winters ago I dealt with the power going out during a blizzard.  It sucked because I was stuck in the house because the roads weren't plowed.  But one redeeming thing about power outages in the winter is that you can add more layers, you can only take off so much in a summer power outage.  The heat just saps your energy, in the cold you just want to hibernate.

As of right now, I still don't know if my branch has power back yet.  If not, I'll have to call around to find a branch willing to take in this branch-less refugee.

Damn this Anti-Cardigan Weather...

Taste the (partial) Rainbow...

I was looking forward for some paid snow days this winter but was left completely disappointed.  Now, spring seems to be in full effect and it is too warm to wear any sweaters at work. 

This means that I now have to iron all of my shirts.  Yes, I am that much of a lazy but I've completely embraced the whole librarian sweater style.  I guess I don't really have to, but I couldn't be that "constantly wrinkled shirt guy."

Today, the circ manager broke out all of the table top fans from storage and plugged them all in... ALL.  There were a couple at the circ desk, one at the info desk, and a handful in the backroom.   

How do I put this delicately... First off, no offense to any of the older library staff out there I love you all.  But a lot of my coworkers, current branch and past, are at a certain age/stage in life where their body temperatures tend to get warmer than usual, much warmer and I really feel for them.  Branch thermostat control is all handled remotely by admin, supposedly to help save some money.  I know for a fact that when branches had control of their own thermostats, most branches could be described as "chilly" during the non-winter months and I didn't mind it because you can always layer up.  There's only so much you can take off before it gets awkward... let's just hope it doesn't get to that point of awkwardness this summer.

Politics, Religion... and now Weather.

This week's recurring theme will be about library mismanagement, I can't help it that they're so incompetent.  The branch manager sent out an email yesterday stating that it is now verboten to speak of weather/weather reports/anything weather related with patrons.  Too bad that's all patrons ever talk about when I interact with them: "Be careful out there it's slippery!" "Make sure you have some sunblock, it's sunny!"

Their reasoning:
1. We are not meteorologists, for crying out loud, meteorologists aren't even meteorologists, they're always wrong and on the off chance they're correct, they become braggadocios (more like braggadouches) about, "We told you so!"  Okay, let me stop this off tangent and refocus my rant.
2. There are other "authorities" who are more accurate than us, again with the meteorologists, sheesh.
3. "We don't want to pass on opinions without documenting sources," seriously, do you want MLA or APA with your weather forecast?
4. We can always "thank customers for sharing what they've heard," but we should not "engage them in dueling reports."  --- Bibliotecher to Patron: I'll see your snow shower and raise you a THUNDERSNOW!

I'm not a dick who can't handle authority, but I'll buck the system if I, usually validated by my coworkers, deem any said rules to be outlandish and impractical.  Screw it, when I go in tonight, I'm talking non-stop weather.  I'm telling all the patrons that there's a 95% chance of Tropic Thunder and I would know because I'm a lead farmer MFer!

Library Mismanagment --- Starts at the Top!

Library management sucks, from the Page Manager all the way to the Director.  It is mismanaged to hell.  There is no better proof than the events of last Wednesday. 

Schools were closed, libraries were open.... shocker.  We had a circ meeting so EVERYONE was scheduled to work, only one person called out.  Some coworkers called her out during the meeting, saying that, "certain people call out, because they can."  Karma came back to them when it took them 6.5 hours to travel less than 10 miles home that evening, oh and the power was out too.

Library management decided to close early at 6 but then realized they effed up and changed it to 5.  They made their oh-so-benevolent decision at 4:53.  The following day, you would think that they would cut the library some slack, nope, not even a 2 hour delayed opening and of course schools were closed again.  If that wasn't a kick in the balls already, NONE of the parking lots or walkways were cleared.  So my county wide coworkers got stuck in the parking lot, ON THEIR WAY IN.

So what lesson did I learn from this ordeal, besides the fact that "Thunder Snow" is real --- that a Library Media Specialist position looks like a viable option.  I wrote this on a coworkers windshield on my way out, but I'm fairly certain that by the time they left it was already snowed over.

Nor Rain, Nor Sleet, Nor Snow, Nor Plague...

Yesterday's door count was a spine-breaking 381. Get it!? Spine-breaking.... Oh nevermind.  That astounding figure is probably off by a lot too, because out of the few patrons we had, several have small bladders so every time they would walk past the counter to use the restroom the numbers went up.  I've seen the Branch Manager walk back and forth between the counter several times a day for no apparent reason. Cookin' the books the way I see it.

The weather wasn't all too bad yesterday, but it wasn't exactly sunny skies and clear roads.

I was manning the desk alone, fighting off the endless hordes who wanted to check out The Girl Who Boxed a Beehive or was it The Girl Who Attacked an Anthill.  I can never keep up with what those crazy patrons are into.

My coworker who was working later in the day, covering a different branch, IMed my phone asking why the library was still open in this kind of weather. Granted it wasn't blizzard-like conditions, but the schools were closing early, damn you school system! I replied, "Because people need to update their Facebook statuses."

Until people get Facebook chips implanted into their brains, the library will always be open.

Rules of Circ #11 (RoC)

"Circ Desk Small talk"

Most interactions with patrons at the desk last less than a minute, two at the most because it takes a long time to print up a due date slip listing all of the 50 items checked out.

I do not know if this is only for specific patrons who are "loose" when it comes to self-disclosure or if the circ desk is the equivalent of a bar. Patrons can be particularly gabby, and I'm not just talking about the lonely elderly ones either (it's worse when they call because I feel bad when I have to politely tell them I have to go back to work after helping them).

Popular topics of discussion are
1. The weather; from a blizzard to a heat wave, patrons will always mention the obvious. Although, I particularly hate it when patrons mention how great it is outdoors and I'm stuck indoors and I also just started my shift -- don't rub it in!
2. Changes in library policy; it's always fun to bond with patrons by complaining about "The Man," you know, the one guy in his executive suite, smoking his cigars in his expensive suit who is always increasing library fines and shortening hours.
3. Personal issues; most of the time I honestly do not need any more information other than your library card number, and sometimes your name or address. Everything volunteered varies so greatly on many levels. It can range from happy subjects like finally getting a job after using the library to find jobs, to the sad like a widow clearing up a recently passed away spouse's account.

No matter what the topic, I openly welcome anything over the awkward silence of waiting for the printer to finish. I love it when patrons get really excited when they see that I am willing to listen. I had an elderly patron go on and on about a play she was putting on and kept inviting me to go. I recently had a patron tell me all about her trip to Greece which occurred during the economic riots; her husband was pick-pocketed within 20 minutes of setting foot on land and she came in to pay for books they lost when they had to quickly leave their hotel due to the riots.

So bring some books and some stories to the check out desk and I'm always willing to lend the books and an ear.

You Know it's a Sunday When...

The picture is of the bookdrop shoot turned "Slip-n-Slide." For all of those less fortunate who have never experienced riding/sliding/falling down one, I can honestly say you're not missing much. Because any pebble or bump that was under the tarp hurt like hell!

I don't know what it is about working Sundays, but it’s very unique because it always comes along with its special set of patrons and problems.

It started off with a regular problem patron who thinks the whole staff is against her. She wanted my coworkers' names to report them to the higher ups. She then used the public phones to call the cops ON US, they never bothered showing up (shocker).

Later my coworker commented about how quickly it got dark and a patron responded by letting us know that there was a tornado watch (fun). I was about to go on break and I had one leg in the elevator when the whole place when dark. I was a couple seconds away from being trapped, not cool at all. The power never came on and we had to check people out by writing down their card numbers and item numbers. Damn, did I curse the 50 item maximum limit and the patrons who chose to exercise that right. Seriously though, you see us working with flashlights, or the illumination of our cell phones, and you get impatient because we have to use pen and paper --- dummies.

After a messy day like that, I ended up watching 'Inception' after some coworkers and friends talked it up. Man, the only way I can describe it is: "Mind-f@*k." Yeah, pardon the language, but it is a great movie! When I walked into work, another coworker found out I watched it last night and she quickly cornered me and we started analyzing and breaking it down.

Let it Snow

I looked at my paystub for this paycheck and it was nice to see that nearly all of the hours listed were paid snow days.

I don't know why people suffer from cabin fever so much.  I LOVED staying in: I had electricity and internet = MW2 on Xbox Live.

The picture is from the window across from my cubicle at work.  Yes, the snow is piled up to the second window which is about 7"-8" from the floor. 

Blizzard of 2010

I know I didn't experience any cabin fever symptoms while I was literally snowed in for over a week.

At least I wasn't stuck at an airport. But it looks like she was able to keep herself entertained.