You can't attract librarians with vinegar

I got into two separate arguments with a patron today. It would have just been one, but fortunately for me she's hard headed AND hard of hearing. She kept mentioning about how her "regular" branch said its ok to renew this particular book or use one of my favorite loopholes, check it in and check it right back out. But these particular materials are only on loan for 2 weeks without renewal because they are in high demand and patrons don't like being #258 in the holds queue for the latest James Patterson. The second time she came up to me and I told her we can't, she had the nerve to tell me, "we went through this before, I told you (blank) said its ok." This is where I leaned forward and I told her that I already told her that we do not do that. She snatched the book and said that she would take it to her "other branch" and get it done there. Unfortunately I didn't grab her name so I wasn't able to send an email to that branch. In all honesty, if she wasn't such a b!+*# and played the sweet, naïve, innocent patron approach I just *might* have looked out for her. Guess we'll never know...

Librarians Against Renewal Driving

One of my coworkers was working the in house telephones one day when he got a call from a patron asking to renew their books. It was obvious they were calling from their cell phone---in their car---while driving. I have no idea what possessed this person to think that they really should be renewing their books while maneuvering a one ton, explosive gasoline driven metal projectile of possible carnage. Well, this patron was so engrossed in reading off their library card number that they did not notice that they were driving through a red light and they got into an accident. I wouldn't be surprised if this super-genius had a key card and they were trying to read off the numbers from the ignition. The last thing people should be worrying about while driving is renewing their books. Please don't ever call me while I am working the phone lines when you are driving or I will hang up on you without hesitation. Oh, don't worry, their overdues got renewed.
- a message from LARD, Librarians Against Renewal Driving.